I keep receiving messages from my wonderful followers who are eager to know if kissing is okay and permissible in their courtship. At least one is not having penetrative sex, won’t partners touch each other at all ni?
Real Believers do not debate sex before marriage is a sin but many people find it hard to do without kissing and the likes.
Kissing is not a part of Christian COURTSHIP, but part of a Christian MARRIAGE. Yes, I can say that again.
Like my mentor, Pastor Dunamis Okunowo of Kisses and Huggs taught me,
“Courtship time is not a time to submit your lips like exam scripts for
kissing…but a time to talk”
Before I rededicated my life to
Christ and met my husband who didn’t only save sex for marriage but
waited for our FIRST KISS at our Wedding Reception, I submitted my lips
like exam scripts for kissing and romance and I can tell you it shifted
things in my spiritual health.
How many times I told myself, “It would be a parting kiss” but got prolonged.
How many times I told him don’t touch my body, just kiss but nay.
Being SEXUALLY PURE IN YOUR COURTSHIP means it is devoid of any form of
sexual activities: kissing tongue to tongue, fingering, smooching,
fondling and caressing genitals, free from oral sex, anal sex,
pornography, sexting, phone sex, cohabiting and romance.
In fact, let’s make it simpler, everything both of you can’t do together when your pastor/mentor is around is a Sin.
On KISSING DURING COURTSHIP….
One, kissing is an exchange. Kissing tongue to tongue involves an
exchange of water/saliva which is automatically a bonding process. In
the process of kissing, both of you swallow each other’s spittle and I
feel it connotes a bond and intimacy. Closing your eyes process the
enjoyment for you. At this time, do we see the Holy Spirit giving us
thumb up? No
Two, kissing is a chain of activities. Kissing is an
act which is not singular. How do I mean? I counseled a lady and I
asked her ” When you kiss your boyfriend, what does your hands do?”
She looked away. Likewise let us think…when you kiss someone your
hands will complete the act by doing all the other ones**** thereby
tampering with each others sexual organs in the process. You don’t stand
in different angles and push your lips out at each other. I do hope you
understand? So I am not going to overflog this further.
kissing will leave you hungry and dissatisfied. Kissing is like an
appetizer. It will build up your passion and even if you are determined
never to go beyond tongue to tongue kissing; soon or later you will get
tired of kissing and proceed beyond the act or get back and end up
masturbating yourself. Of course kissing is a foreplay.
if one thing will not lead to another then ”TAKE HEED” Don’t trust
yourself TOO MUCH. Being able to control your kissing and ensuring it
doesn’t lead to sex too is still part of fornication. I wink when people
tell me “We are not having sex, just KISSES”
I do add ” and ROMANCE”
It is never too late to begin again. purity all the way through your courtship. Stop!
Some people even quote that the Scripture says in Romans 16:16 ”Greet
one another with a holy kiss. All the churches of Christ send
Please I don’t believe the holy kiss Paul the
apostle mentioned here is the romantic tongue to tongue, saliva-sucking,
tongue-travelling kissing we are talking about. It is just lip to cheek
The holy kissing(christian love) which is
permissible among the brethren in our time is that ‘sisters should hug
sisters while brothers should hug brothers” and opposite sex do hand
There are many things we term “little” and ”common or
normal” I advise we all search our Spirit and yield to the
promptings/warnings of the Holy Spirit.
It doesn’t matter how far you have gone! He is a God of a second chance. Start afresh now!
Purity is a conscious and deliberate effort! We can achieve it!
You May Kiss Your Bride/Groom is a call at your joining in Holy
Matrimony. It is practiced in some churches while others don’t. I
wished it is done in my church though. Winks.
Kiss…means by the reason of your joining in Holy matrimony, you are
NOW given the LICENSE, the freedom to KISS each other and do the rest
HENCEFORTH when you get home. The embargo is lifted at your joining/ as
you’re pronounced a HUSBAND and WIFE.
Photo credit: Google
Esther Ebunoluwa Omoniyi